{"id":65,"date":"2023-01-13T12:45:44","date_gmt":"2023-01-13T11:45:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/monitor.vistula.edu.pl\/?p=65"},"modified":"2023-05-22T11:59:25","modified_gmt":"2023-05-22T09:59:25","slug":"boys-dont-cry-but-they-do-kill-themselves","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/monitor.vistula.edu.pl\/index.php\/en\/2023\/01\/13\/boys-dont-cry-but-they-do-kill-themselves\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cBoys Don\u2019t Cry\u201d but they do kill themselves"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Suicide Awareness. Information presented in this work may be triggering to some people.<\/em><\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI tried to laugh about it, cover it all up with lies (\u2026) hiding the tears in my eyes. \u2018Cause boys don’t cry\u201d<\/em> – wrote British band The Cure, in their 1979 hit. The song which later became a worldwide phenomenon and plunged the gothic-emo-punky look, turned into an anthem for countless of men around the world who already had this internalized idiotic idea and had gotten a tune to go along with it.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somehow, 43 years later, in this \u2013 much more accepting society – a man breaking down still feels like a spectacle.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And before any men reading this say something like: \u201cI do cry\u201d \u2026 Yeah, we know<\/em> Robert. Do you want a star sticker for acting like a natural human being?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In fact, studies show that men cry an average of 11 times a year, around 4 times less than women1<\/sup>. Other studies showed that the most common reasons that had men weeping were sports, heartbreak, a beloved pet\u2019s death and losing someone2<\/sup>, which is completely weird to think, like winning the World Cup is more likely to make men cry than their grandma\u2019s death (?) <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some \u201cmacho\u201d men even go beyond that, admitting they haven\u2019t cried in years, which for the sake of their Andrew Tatetian<\/em> idea of masculinity, we\u2019ll say we believe them.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

 It seems like sensitivity has paid the price of machismo.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

As they say, it is a man\u2019s world and normally men would be incredibly happy to know that they beat women in yet another thing, except this time it is<\/a> not an ego-fulfilling statistic. In recent years there has been a great increase in the number of men who end their lives prematurely through suicide. It\u2019s two freaking times higher than women3<\/sup>, more so in some countries. So yeah, boys don\u2019t cry, but they do kill themselves quite often.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And while women get countless of vlogs, podcasts and articles for mental health issues, men only get to man up<\/em>. It\u2019s not that men have a small number of exclusive resources for help, they almost don\u2019t have any. Well, that makes sense when you realize that most of ads regarding mental health are aimed at women. From the fonts, to the language, to the advice. We are letting – for the first time – men down.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you may be thinking, oh just \u201cseek help\u201d. How the hell are they gonna seek help if they are not even allowed to show emotions!? And when they do, they\u2019re mostly repressed. It\u2019s just severe stress (<\/em>the misdiagnosis is worrisome). You don\u2019t have severe stress, my friend, you have depression. Let\u2019s just be clear and call it the way it is. It\u2019s not that hard is it health professionals?  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then again, when a woman talks about her struggle with mental health, she\u2019s relatable and real. When a man does, he\u2019s\u2026 brave<\/em>? The mere dramatization may even drive more men to self-treating themselves with a couple of vodkas instead of seeking professional help to<\/a> avoid the spotlight of unwanted attention, for admitting they have, a now extremely common issue in a society that has still not woken up to the problem.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, what now? After 2020, the spikes are causing a fret. There are so many things we can do, but we seem to not be doing any of them. At least let\u2019s start to check on our male friends as we do on our girlies because even though I\u2019m a firm believer that men are the root of many of our problems, this time they may need our help, even if they\u2019ll never admit it. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Laura Montoya Gonzalez del Riego<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Link Resources:<\/strong> <\/p>\n\n\n\n